- Remember that 90 % of communication is via body language.
- Make sure your body language and your words are congruent
- Make eye contact.
- Make ‘I ‘ statements.
- Take responsibility for your own feelings and actions.
- Remember no one else makes us feel anything.( our feelings are our inner reaction to external stimuli )
- Speak your ‘ truth’ with courage,clarity and respect
- Remember your truth is merely your experience( not the universal truth)
- Be prepared to have your perspective modified when you listen to the other persons ‘truth’ around the situation.
- Make respectful requests for behavior change etc.
- Absolutely refrain from criticizing , blaming, shaming, controlling etc
- Take responsibility for YOUR contribution to any conflict
- Validate the other persons perspective as being as valid as your own
- Always be willing to work through conflict. ( silence , withdrawal, stonewalling gossiping is always destructive )
- Practice radical forgiveness of yourself and others.
- Become a 100% safe person for others to be around.
- Keep you heart open.
- Practice great self care.
- Keep clear respectful boundaries. Respect the boundaries of the other.
- Be generous in your appreciation,gratitude toward and validation of the other.
Make these twenty tips a deep part of your lived value system. If we can all commit to this as a way of life, we become powerful agents of healing, growth and transformation for ourselves our families, our friends, our colleagues and our planet
Respectfully submitted by Dr Mary Butler LCPC, LMFT